Funny Whatsapp Status

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Funny Whatsapp Status

I stopped fighting my inner demon, we are on the same side now.

I don’t think you act stupid, I’m sure it’s the real thing.

Ooooooo…..Don’t copy my status.

Google must be a woman because it knows everything.

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

The reason I’m fat coz a thin body could not handle my personality

Girls are like parking spaces, all the good ones are already taken.

If sex were shoes, I’d wear you out. But I wouldn’t wear you out in public.

Winter as Hell – I ordered a pizza and the messenger comes with a Jet

Do you ever just lie on knees and thank god that you know me and my intelligence???

Can’t talk, telepathy only!

Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror

I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep

In modern politics, even the leader of the free world needs help from the sultan of facebookistan!

My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..

I’m great in bed; I can sleep for days.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

Read books instead of reading my status!

Sometimes all you need is an empty place – for farting.

Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

My heart is stolen…can I check your bra

I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.

I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.

Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

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